Terrifying Images on the Easter Bunny’s Lap: He’s No Santa Claus

One of the few documented children unfazed by a creepy department store Easter Bunny in over half a century.

One of the few documented children unfazed by a creepy department store Easter Bunny in over half a century.

In the last half-century, there are few challenges which the ingenuity of mankind has not yet met.

We’re still waiting on the Jetpack, so we can fly in the sky to avoid traffic on the ground.

What about a home desalination jug, like the ones from Britta, to turn all that salty ocean liquid around us into drinkable fluid just in time for the massive global water shortage?

This gentleman inexplicably felt compelled to introduce his cat to the Easter Bunny,

This gentleman inexplicably felt compelled to introduce his cat to the Easter Bunny,

High on the list too, must be included a pleasant, upbeat department store Easter Bunny so kids could come sit on its lap and whisper into its ear what they wants for summer vacation or feel fearless about accepting an egg at an Easter egg rolling contest.

Of course, it doesn’t count when it comes to adults. Then, its a matter of who may be creepier.

A survey of children being lulled onto the laps of countless dozens of Easter Bunnies or made to take a basket from them at an outdoor egg roll since the late 1940s suggests that time has not erased the remarkably common bond of terror, disorientation and discomfort experienced by children for over a half a century.

There are, of course, a few brave ones among them.

A dark fate not worth all the jellybeans in the world.

A dark fate not worth all the jellybeans in the world.

Instead of the visions of sugarplums which danced in their heads just four months earlier which may have led many of the youngsters to even emulate the benevolent old St. Nick, it certainly seems that the trauma of meeting the Easter Bunny may have traumatized some to imagine a hideous fate not worth the lifetime of jellybeans that striking the Faustian bargain seems likely to have meant.

Being turned into one of them.

No matter how arched the brows, pink the fur or big the paw of the Easter Bunny in question, there still exists a marvelous opportunity for some creative costumers to finally conceive and concoct something far less menacing, creepy, ugly, terrifying and hideous than what continues to haunt our springtimes.

Just in case anyone out there is compelled by a wild Hare to do so.

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The Terror of the Easter Bunny

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(Most of these images were culled from a number of websites, including those of radio station K106FM, in a photo essay entitled “Top Ten Most Traumatic Easter Bunny Photos,”┬áby Mike Major, RYOT’s article “Super Creepy Vintage Easter Bunny Photos Look Like Something Out of Donnie Darko,” by Brittany Greenquist, and radio station Country 95.9, in a photo essay “Awkward Easter Bunny Moments,” by Ryan Crits.)

 


Categories: Easter, Holidays

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2 replies »

  1. Holy moly! From the look of those “Easter Bunnies”, I feel certain aliens have landed.

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